Last week we welcomed a new teammate to TipRanks: the ETF AI Analyst, built to turn data into deeper, faster insights for every investor. To mark the launch, we have spun its encyclopedic knowledge of tickers into something just for fun: a bedtime story in which almost every word is a real ETF. Click on any bolded term to see the fund behind the fairy tale, then dive into the new tool to research the ones that caught your eye.
A Tale Where (Almost) Every Word Is a Real ETF Ticker
Once upon a TIME, NEAR the whispering SEA, a shaggy DOG with a plumed TAIL lounged beneath the WOODs, crunching sweet CORN and dreaming WISE dreams.
One golden WEEK, a mischievous BUZZ swept the beach: a traveling SPY spoke of buried treasure. “YOLO!” barked our hero. “I MUST DIG for JADE and GLD!”
Though the quest would SEEM HARD, the pup had an EDGE: a reclusive GURU who could LEAD and TENDed to give stellar TIPs.
“USE this sturdy ROPE,” the sage advised, “and PICK this magic RING. WANT to prosper? Then HOLD it NEAR your heart.”
Supplies were packed: canteens of MILK, sacks of CORN, and a jaunty PINK CAPE. For speed they hailed no ordinary cab, but a sleek pair of JETS.
The pilot, a SHY but SURE HERO, winked and said, “I KNOW where to FLY!” They soared HIGH above an AREA of WILD WOODs and abandoned COAL mines.
At a lonely BAR by the surf they met COWZ – a ruminant who could GRIN and SPIN yarns. “You two SEEM WISE,” she mused. “I’ll ROAM with you!”
Together they trudged TILL sunset glinted on a huge rusty NAIL half-buried in the DUST. “X marks the spot,” declared the GURU. “DIG here!”
Paws and hooves flew. They TUGged, DUG through oozing MUD as the morning DEW fell, and MADE a deep PIT – until clink!
A TINY chest gleamed inside: not only GLD (Gold), SLV (Silver), and sparkling DIAmonds, but legal BOND papers proving the dog OWNS the entire AREA!
“This will CURE every money worry!” barked the DOG. “Don’t SPIT your BUZZ too soon,” cautioned the GURU. “USE wealth with VICE in check. Be SURE to VOTE WISEly.”
The HERO pilot fired up the JETS and ferried them home. Even the SWAN behind the BAR threw a bash with bottomless JAVA and hot buttered CORN.
Rather than squander the loot, the DOG used GLD to PAVE roads, build school DESKs, and even fund a SPY network to catch market RIGS.
Each passing YEAR the reformed rover would sit by the SEA, watch the sunset’s amber GLOW, feel the tidal FLOW, and KNOW that being WISE beats being DULL.
And the DOG would GRIN, nibble fresh CORN, and remind every pup within earshot: YOLO – but make it WISE!
THE END
ETF Tickers Used in This Story:
- AREA – Harbor AlphaEdge Next Generation REITs ETF
- BAR – GraniteShares Gold Shares
- BOND – PIMCO Active Bond ETF
- BUZZ – VanEck Social Sentiment ETF
- CAPE – DoubleLine Shiller CAPE U.S. Equities ETF
- COAL – Range Global Coal Index ETF
- CORN – Teucrium Corn Fund
- COWZ – Pacer US Cash Cows 100 ETF
- CURE – Direxion Daily Healthcare Bull 3x Shares
- DESK – VanEck Office and Commercial REIT ETF
- DEW – WisdomTree Global High Dividend Fund
- DIA – SPDR Dow Jones Industrial Average ETF Trust
- DIG – ProShares Ultra Oil & Gas
- DOG – ProShares Short Dow30
- DUG – ProShares UltraShort Oil & Gas
- DULL – MicroSectors Gold -3X Inverse Leveraged ETNs
- DUST – Direxion Daily Gold Miners Index Bear 2x Shares
- EDGE – MRBL Enhanced Equity ETF
- FLOW – Global X U.S. Cash Flow Kings 100 ETF
- GLD – SPDR Gold Shares
- GLOW – VictoryShares WestEnd Global Equity ETF
- GRIN – VictoryShares International Free Cash Flow Growth ETF
- GURU – Global X Guru Index ETF
- HARD – Simplify Commodities Strategy No K-1 ETF
- HEAT – Touchstone Climate Transition ETF
- HERO – Global X Video Games & Esports ETF
- HIGH – Simplify Enhanced Income ETF
- HOLD – Harbor Alpha Layering ETF
- JADE – JPMorgan Active Developing Markets Equity ETF
- JAVA – JPMorgan Active Value ETF
- JETS – U.S. Global Jets ETF
- JUST – Goldman Sachs JUST U.S. Large Cap Equity ETF
- KNOW – Fundamentals First ETF
- LEAD – Siren DIVCON Leaders Dividend ETF
- MADE – iShares U.S. Manufacturing ETF
- MILK – Pacer US Cash Cows Bond ETF
- MOOD – Relative Sentiment Tactical Allocation ETF
- MUD – Direxion Daily MU Bear 1X Shares
- MUST – Columbia Multi-Sector Municipal Income ETF
- NAIL – Direxion Daily Homebuilders & Supplies Bull 3X Shares
- NEAR – BlackRock Short Maturity Bond ETF
- OWNS – Impact Shares Affordable Housing MBS ETF
- PAVE – Global X U.S. Infrastructure Development ETF
- PICK – iShares MSCI Global Metals & Mining Producers ETF
- PINK – Simplify Health Care ETF
- PIT – VanEck Commodity Strategy ETF
- RIGS – RiverFront Strategic Income Fund
- RING – iShares MSCI Global Gold Miners ETF
- ROAM – Hartford Multifactor Emerging Markets ETF
- ROPE – Coastal Compass 100 ETF
- SEA – U.S. Global Sea to Sky Cargo ETF
- SEEM – SEI Select Emerging Markets Equity ETF
- SHY – iShares 1-3 Year Treasury Bond ETF
- SLV – iShares Silver Trust
- SPIN – SPDR SSGA US Equity Premium Income ETF
- SPIT – F/m Emerald Special Situations ETF
- SPY – SPDR S&P 500 ETF Trust
- SURE – AdvisorShares Insider Advantage ETF
- SWAN – Amplify BlackSwan Growth & Treasury Core ETF
- TAIL – Cambria Tail Risk ETF
- TAXI – Northern Trust Intermediate Tax-Exempt Bond ETF
- TEND – iShares Large Cap 10% Target Buffer Dec ETF
- TILL – Teucrium Agricultural Strategy No K-1 ETF
- TIME – Clockwise Capital Innovation ETF
- TINY – ProShares Nanotechnology ETF
- TIP – iShares TIPS Bond ETF
- TUG – STF Tactical Growth ETF
- USE – USCF Energy Commodity Strategy Absolute Return Fund
- VICE – AdvisorShares Vice ETF
- VOTE – Engine No. 1 Transform 500 ETF
- WANT – Direxion Daily Consumer Discretionary Bull 3x Shares
- WEEK – Roundhill Weekly T-Bill ETF
- WILD – VistaShares Animal Spirits Daily 2X Strategy ETF
- WISE – Themes Generative Artificial Intelligence ETF
- WOOD – iShares Global Timber & Forestry ETF
- YEAR – AB Ultra Short Income ETF
- YOLO – AdvisorShares Pure Cannabis ETF